Mothers and Daughters
This is for Charlene, with love and thanks for all she did for my family!!
Sometimes mothers have to make really difficult decisions for their daugher's well being. These are two stories about those times. One is mine and one is a friend's (I will change the name because it's not my story).
When Tiffanie had Jimmy I had to leave her after just 2 weeks. This was soooooo hard. Going 1300 miles away from my baby and her baby broke my heart. I still cry when I remember her breaking into tears as we woke her to say goodbye and then standing in the door, holding her newborn son and waving goodbye. (tears are flowing now) But I knew it was what we had to do. Shaun needed the space that we vacated to step into and become the amazing husband and father that he is. This new family needed the time to bond and grow deeper.
The other story is about my friend "Zena". I met Zena in El Paso. She was married to "Thor" who was a bit older than her and she had 2 kids from her previous marriage. She had gotten pregnant at about 15 and married the boy. He went into the army and they had another baby 2 years later. Then he fell in love with her best friend!! She figured it out and the whole ugly scene I leave up to your imagination. Anyway, in the middle of this horrific scene, she called her mother and said she was coming home to stay, and her mother said "NO you can't come home." and hung up. Zena was in a state of shock! She called her mother back and said she had to come home, husband was kicking her out and she had no place else to go. Her mother relented and said "okay, you can come home, but you can only stay one month. At the end of that time you must have a place of your own". Zena was about 19 or 20 with 2 babies and she had a place of her own in 3 weeks. As she was telling me this many years later, she said she knew it was the hardest thing her mother ever had to do, but it was the BEST thing her mother had ever done for her. If she had gone home to mama with those two babies, her mother would have ended up raising her two children and she herself would have never grown up. It wasn't easy and she did not have an easy time of it. She was on welfare and lots of hard times ensued, BUT she was still grateful to her mother for making that most difficult decision.
It's not easy being a mother, and those difficult decisions you have to make really do break your heart, but when you know it's the right thing for your child you just have to do it. And, Charlene, it is the right thing. Hang in there, I know it's hard.
Sometimes mothers have to make really difficult decisions for their daugher's well being. These are two stories about those times. One is mine and one is a friend's (I will change the name because it's not my story).
When Tiffanie had Jimmy I had to leave her after just 2 weeks. This was soooooo hard. Going 1300 miles away from my baby and her baby broke my heart. I still cry when I remember her breaking into tears as we woke her to say goodbye and then standing in the door, holding her newborn son and waving goodbye. (tears are flowing now) But I knew it was what we had to do. Shaun needed the space that we vacated to step into and become the amazing husband and father that he is. This new family needed the time to bond and grow deeper.
The other story is about my friend "Zena". I met Zena in El Paso. She was married to "Thor" who was a bit older than her and she had 2 kids from her previous marriage. She had gotten pregnant at about 15 and married the boy. He went into the army and they had another baby 2 years later. Then he fell in love with her best friend!! She figured it out and the whole ugly scene I leave up to your imagination. Anyway, in the middle of this horrific scene, she called her mother and said she was coming home to stay, and her mother said "NO you can't come home." and hung up. Zena was in a state of shock! She called her mother back and said she had to come home, husband was kicking her out and she had no place else to go. Her mother relented and said "okay, you can come home, but you can only stay one month. At the end of that time you must have a place of your own". Zena was about 19 or 20 with 2 babies and she had a place of her own in 3 weeks. As she was telling me this many years later, she said she knew it was the hardest thing her mother ever had to do, but it was the BEST thing her mother had ever done for her. If she had gone home to mama with those two babies, her mother would have ended up raising her two children and she herself would have never grown up. It wasn't easy and she did not have an easy time of it. She was on welfare and lots of hard times ensued, BUT she was still grateful to her mother for making that most difficult decision.
It's not easy being a mother, and those difficult decisions you have to make really do break your heart, but when you know it's the right thing for your child you just have to do it. And, Charlene, it is the right thing. Hang in there, I know it's hard.
2 Comments:
At 5:34 PM,
Anonymous said…
Becky shared this with me. I'm not full force in this blog reading yet. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know this too shall pass.
God bless,
Charlene
At 2:50 PM,
Grandma K said…
I was touched by your post. I too had to leave my baby with her baby 5 years ago, and we cried. I was only going to be 200 miles away though. Happily, they moved here in less than three months!
There are very rough times when raining chidren. They can rip a mother's heart out. What ever the cause though, it will pass, and everyone will be stronger for it. Great post!
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