The psychic said

Well it was a fun evening. The psychics name is Kim O'neill and she has a web page. www. Kimoneillpsychic.com if you are interested in that sort of thing. Anyway, she gave some of her predictions for the year. Nothing too shocking or surprising. Mostly upbeat. Then she drew names out of a basket and answered one question per person. Well I couldn't really settle on a question, everytime someone else asked a question, I thought "I could ask about that too". Then as the evening wore on and it was running really late, I figured my name wasn't going to be drawn so I didn't even think about it anymore. Then at 10:40 the last name drawn was mine. I was so flustered I couldn't really choose a question, so I said "I quess I want to know what my life's work is". And she answered right away "writing, your first book is to be non fiction, your memoirs, your life story up until now". Martha just burst out laughing. She has been telling me this for several months. Kim also said Martha and I "channel" for each other, and I think that we have been doing just that. BUT WRITING!!! I can't possibly tell you how much resistance I have to this idea. So I'm just trying to be open to the idea, but mostly I am noticing how much resistance I DO have to this. I mean, I'm not that interesting a person, and my life has not been that interesting either. (See what I mean about resistance?)

I will manage to overcome this resistance, as I recognize it as the voice in my head I call the "critic", "naysayer", or "doubting Thomas" among other things. Does everyone have that voice? I think most of us do, but I don't know it for a fact. I mean do you think Donald Trump has it? Anyway, it also occured to me that I may need to write it just for my family's history, not for publication. I quess that would be less scary. Part of the scariness is about really reviewing my whole life. I mean, do I really want to go there? Part of me does. I once spent 4 days in a monastery because I just wanted to sit under a tree and look at my life to see what were the patterns or lessons I was working on, to sort of make sense of it all. The part of me that did that wants to do it again. But there is also another part, maybe the critic, that says "No way". Anyway, I don't think I will put the whole thing on my blog, maybe just some of the more interesting stories. We'll see.