There's a new grandbaby coming in August. Grayson Lawrence Smith is coming to Travis and Lauren, and we all can hardly wait to hold him & kiss him & love him to pieces!! :)
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Excuses
The problem with making excuses is that they cloud your clarity. Clarity comes when we are brave enough to ask hard questions of ourselves and answer them honestly.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
ingrate
I have been such an ingrate for most of my life. I was given a body that functioned on all levels and served me well my entire life and for as long as I can remember I have been unhappy about some aspect of that body. Too thin, too fat, too short, bad hair, ugly legs. You get the drift. Then this past few months I began to look at how ungrateful I have been. Given such a gift and I could do nothing but carp about the wrapping. How shallow is that??
Well, today I am truly grateful for this body I was given to wear for this journey. It is now and always has been the perfect fit. :)
Well, today I am truly grateful for this body I was given to wear for this journey. It is now and always has been the perfect fit. :)
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Up From The Abyss
Two years ago at Thanksgiving I felt myself going down into a depression that was very deep by Christmas. The last two years have been spent more or less processing grief that was not felt at the time of my father's death (taking time out for births and weddings of course). There are still bits and pieces to get done, but over all I can truly say, I am coming up out of the abyss. There are so many stories to tell, and possibly they will get told later, but for now I want to say "Thank you" to those of you who have helped me through this.
First, my daughter, who called almost EVERY day, always holding my lifeline in her very capable hands. I couldn't have asked for a better person to maintain my contact with the real world. Thank you, Darling, I appreciate you more than I can say.
AND my best friend Jane, who helped me get to the things I had buried so deep that I needed help to do the digging. I couldn't have done it without you. You are my rock. You are the best, and I am grateful to have you in my life.
And my whole family who have been going through this with me, like it or not. Thanks for the love and patience. It is appreciated.
First, my daughter, who called almost EVERY day, always holding my lifeline in her very capable hands. I couldn't have asked for a better person to maintain my contact with the real world. Thank you, Darling, I appreciate you more than I can say.
AND my best friend Jane, who helped me get to the things I had buried so deep that I needed help to do the digging. I couldn't have done it without you. You are my rock. You are the best, and I am grateful to have you in my life.
And my whole family who have been going through this with me, like it or not. Thanks for the love and patience. It is appreciated.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Say What???
I pray and I hear "begin the writing". . . I cry and I hear "begin the writing". Why am I so resistant to this process? Why am I so afraid? Maybe 51 years of denial is hard to turn around? As I said earlier, change is coming "I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord". :)
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Emotional Thermostat
Just Musing about in my mind the other day and I got to thinking about who controls my moods. Is it me? It seems for a good part of my life it wasn't. I might be in a perfectly fine mood, having a good day and then someone who is having a melt down shows up and my day is ruined. ??? Surely no one else does this. Right?
Or how deeply am I affected by the general outlook, such as "there's a recession coming and its going to be BAD" or "Things are terrible and the only hope you have is to elect our party to office, we will save you from the horrible mess we are in now" or the news paper, which I firmly believe should be called the "bad news paper" because that's all they are interested in printing, "if it bleeds it leads". Interviewing people who have just lost a son or daughter to some horrific fate and asking "how do you feel?" Are you kidding me? Or the comprehensive coverage of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. . . give me a break, this is news? I don't really think so, but my question is how much does it affect my mood? Does it frighten me, make me feel confused, hopeless, or just disinterested?
Or the people in my living space. How does their mood affect my own? There is an old idea that women who live in close quarters cycles sync up, if this is true we must be affecting each other all the time. I live and love a man who has a lot of anger issues. How does that affect me?
I was mulling over all these things when I was turning down the thermostat for the night and after I went to bed I realized that my moods must have a thermostat too, but who has been setting the controls? When I react to someone else's mood by changing my own they are setting my mood, but when I simply see their mood for what it is and who's it is, my mood stays the same (I'm setting my emotional thermostat). I know this is probably very elementary and I maybe should have gotten it 50 years ago, but the point is I DIDN'T. I'm getting it now and I'm just so grateful. So every day now I set the intention of remembering. . . I control my emotional thermostat. When I am down it is because I have chosen to be down for a reason (like maybe to deal with old tramas,etc.) and that is perfectly fine. And when I am up it is because I have chosen to be up, no matter what kind of energy field might surround me. Guess it all comes down to personal responsibility, doesn't it?
Or how deeply am I affected by the general outlook, such as "there's a recession coming and its going to be BAD" or "Things are terrible and the only hope you have is to elect our party to office, we will save you from the horrible mess we are in now" or the news paper, which I firmly believe should be called the "bad news paper" because that's all they are interested in printing, "if it bleeds it leads". Interviewing people who have just lost a son or daughter to some horrific fate and asking "how do you feel?" Are you kidding me? Or the comprehensive coverage of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. . . give me a break, this is news? I don't really think so, but my question is how much does it affect my mood? Does it frighten me, make me feel confused, hopeless, or just disinterested?
Or the people in my living space. How does their mood affect my own? There is an old idea that women who live in close quarters cycles sync up, if this is true we must be affecting each other all the time. I live and love a man who has a lot of anger issues. How does that affect me?
I was mulling over all these things when I was turning down the thermostat for the night and after I went to bed I realized that my moods must have a thermostat too, but who has been setting the controls? When I react to someone else's mood by changing my own they are setting my mood, but when I simply see their mood for what it is and who's it is, my mood stays the same (I'm setting my emotional thermostat). I know this is probably very elementary and I maybe should have gotten it 50 years ago, but the point is I DIDN'T. I'm getting it now and I'm just so grateful. So every day now I set the intention of remembering. . . I control my emotional thermostat. When I am down it is because I have chosen to be down for a reason (like maybe to deal with old tramas,etc.) and that is perfectly fine. And when I am up it is because I have chosen to be up, no matter what kind of energy field might surround me. Guess it all comes down to personal responsibility, doesn't it?
