Deep Blue Funk
Where am I? What is this deep blue veil all around me? Why am I standing on a square with the numeral one? Oh NOOOOOOOO . . . I'm back at the dreaded square one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well at least that's where it feels like I've been for the last several weeks. Just a general deep blue funk. Unable to pinpoint the reason for the sadness. On the verge of tears several times a day, unable to concentrate on anything. If Chris and Danielle had not been here, Thanksgiving would have been grim. She in particular helped me pull it together. And Christmas decorating and shopping . . . just out of the question.
HOWEVER, the good news is the veil has lifted and even though I have been on square one, it now takes far less time and effort to get back to where I really reside now. I guess that is the deal. All the work I have done does not guarantee I will never slip back into the fear, it just makes it easier to find my way out of it now.
So, now I have a lot of catching up to do and unexpected things to accept (we are keeping a very large dog for a friend for a few days over the holidays. I have gone from a no pet household to a pet motel !!!), and a very discombobulated Christmas season (lots of comings and goings). It will be what it is and I will see all my loved ones, and that's what really counts.
Thank you Jane, for the conversation the other day. We always seem to get it right. :) When I count my blessings, I count you way more that twice !!
So here's wishing you a wonderful Christmas, even if the presents are late. Ha, just kidding. Seriously, it is not that the picture you can create is perfect . . . it is the love in your heart that matters. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it !!!!!!!
Well at least that's where it feels like I've been for the last several weeks. Just a general deep blue funk. Unable to pinpoint the reason for the sadness. On the verge of tears several times a day, unable to concentrate on anything. If Chris and Danielle had not been here, Thanksgiving would have been grim. She in particular helped me pull it together. And Christmas decorating and shopping . . . just out of the question.
HOWEVER, the good news is the veil has lifted and even though I have been on square one, it now takes far less time and effort to get back to where I really reside now. I guess that is the deal. All the work I have done does not guarantee I will never slip back into the fear, it just makes it easier to find my way out of it now.
So, now I have a lot of catching up to do and unexpected things to accept (we are keeping a very large dog for a friend for a few days over the holidays. I have gone from a no pet household to a pet motel !!!), and a very discombobulated Christmas season (lots of comings and goings). It will be what it is and I will see all my loved ones, and that's what really counts.
Thank you Jane, for the conversation the other day. We always seem to get it right. :) When I count my blessings, I count you way more that twice !!
So here's wishing you a wonderful Christmas, even if the presents are late. Ha, just kidding. Seriously, it is not that the picture you can create is perfect . . . it is the love in your heart that matters. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it !!!!!!!
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