Excerpt

Well, I actually started my life story. This is an excerpt, I was two or three and obviously not very sensitive to animals, I am much nicer to them now. (possibly trying to make amends for earlier transgressions, and I haven't even told you about the cat yet)

We leased a ranch and stocked it with sheep and goats. In the spring there are always a few mothers who won’t or can’t feed their babies so it’s up to the humans to feed them. In that time we used empty soda pop bottles with rubber nipples that slipped over the rim. The trouble with this method is that the animal’s natural instinct is to “hunch” it’s mother to encourage more milk. Unfortunately, when the rubber nipple is “hunched” it comes off the bottle and the milk spills all over your feet. I am told (I don’t actually remember this myself) that “my” kid had crooked horns because I would hit him over the head with the bottle every time this happened. Apparently I was trying behavior modification at an early age.

So what do you think? Too honest?