NOT ENOUGH CHOCOLATE

When one is trying to self medicate a depression with chocolate, there is just not enought chocolate in the world !!! However, God, in his infinite mercy has given us Red Bull, which makes up the difference. :)

I love me some B vitamins.

I am spending Christmas eve with 2 dogs in wet, cold weather. Lots of in and out, and drying fur & paws. Then soon, I am going to the laundromat to wash & dry 3 down comforters. It's and exciting life I lead. :) But I do love the feel of sleeping under a down comforter. In fact, Jim and I sleep sandwiched between layers of down. Nice.

Anyway. . . Merry Christmas to everyone. Hope your mood is as bright as the Christmas star, your heart is as open as the manger, and your friends and family are with you, if not in fact, in love.

Wishing you Light & Love & Laughter.

Clarity

I prayed for clarity and at 3 a.m. my prayer was answered. As they say, "be careful what you ask for, for you will surely get it".

Here's what I heard. I had two needs which were at odds with each other, and I choose to fill one and to let the other slide, filling it as best I could, here and there, with anything I could find that still fit within my personal standards. Now the first need is no longer so pressing and I find the second need pressing harder than ever. I think it is time to switch places for these two needs. The second must become first and the first become second. In truth, this is a timely event and completely in Divine Order. Life is very good. :)

Deep Blue Funk

Where am I? What is this deep blue veil all around me? Why am I standing on a square with the numeral one? Oh NOOOOOOOO . . . I'm back at the dreaded square one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well at least that's where it feels like I've been for the last several weeks. Just a general deep blue funk. Unable to pinpoint the reason for the sadness. On the verge of tears several times a day, unable to concentrate on anything. If Chris and Danielle had not been here, Thanksgiving would have been grim. She in particular helped me pull it together. And Christmas decorating and shopping . . . just out of the question.

HOWEVER, the good news is the veil has lifted and even though I have been on square one, it now takes far less time and effort to get back to where I really reside now. I guess that is the deal. All the work I have done does not guarantee I will never slip back into the fear, it just makes it easier to find my way out of it now.

So, now I have a lot of catching up to do and unexpected things to accept (we are keeping a very large dog for a friend for a few days over the holidays. I have gone from a no pet household to a pet motel !!!), and a very discombobulated Christmas season (lots of comings and goings). It will be what it is and I will see all my loved ones, and that's what really counts.

Thank you Jane, for the conversation the other day. We always seem to get it right. :) When I count my blessings, I count you way more that twice !!

So here's wishing you a wonderful Christmas, even if the presents are late. Ha, just kidding. Seriously, it is not that the picture you can create is perfect . . . it is the love in your heart that matters. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it !!!!!!!